LancesWorld.com Journal

According to a CNN.com report I saw this morning, officials at Tunbridge Wells council in southern England felt that the term "brainstorming" might offend people with epilepsy, a condition that involves periodic electrical storms inside the brain. As such, the Town Council decided that all representatives should use the term "thought showers" instead.

Really?

Apparently, the British Government decided to take a closer look at the words the government and its councils use from day to day. The result? A list of 100 banned words was released by the Local Government Association (LGA) in the UK.

I did a little digging and discovered that, while most major media are reporting that this list was released just this past Friday, it was actually first released on December 11, 2007: not just this past Friday. The list was released for "National Plain English Day," one of Britain's finer additions to the calendar, I'm convinced.

The word "brainstorm," by the way, is not on the list of banned words. In addition to providing the words, the LGA also included suggestions for alternative choices to these buzzwords. One of my favorites is their suggestion to replace "coterminosity" with "all singing from the same hymn sheet."

For those of you interested in seeing the entire list, I am making it available to you here.

Posted by Lance at 9:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Walking down the street in San Francisco, it's hard to find a person who won't fly off the handle if you suggest that global warming is a "theory" or if you mention the war in Iraq. But talk about same-sex marriage, and they won't shut up about how wonderful it is. Something is desperately wrong in the State of California when the Supreme Court overturns legislation that defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman as unconstitutional. Ridiculous.

Permit me to tell you something about the Constitution of the United States of America. It was written by Christians who respected Christian values, including marriage. Yes, the Constitution provides for a separation of Church and State, but this doesn't mean that the State has no obligation to uphold that which is objectively true. The Founding Fathers of this country didn't think it was necessary to include moral law in the Constitution because the moral law was much more common at the time the Constitution was written. Same-sex marriage wasn't even a consideration at the time, so of course they didn't write it into the Constitution. But if you had asked them whether the separation of Church and State really meant a complete elimination of morality when it comes to the law, they would have laughed at you.

Yesterday marked the first day that same-sex couples could wed in California. San Francisco City Hall stayed open late both yesterday and today to accommodate the crowds. Now as if that isn't bad enough, when I was watching the news this evening I was appalled when I learned that today preschool children were taken to City Hall to hand out flowers to the same-sex couples who were getting married. This is just another example of how liberal society is destroying America by poisoning our children. From a denial that unborn babies are human beings to encouraging objectively disordered lifestyles by presenting such lifestyles as "good" to impressionable children, liberal Americans are completely shredding the moral fabric that this nation was founded on.

Now, I don't entirely support the war in Iraq (a topic for some other time), and I do think that global warming is an issue that needs to be addressed, but I don't think that I go too far in saying that liberalism in American is destroying this country far faster than either the war or the climate.

Posted by Lance at 9:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

You see a lot of interesting things on mass transit in San Francisco. With gas prices over $4.50 in the City ($4.80+ for my car), it has become too expensive for me to drive as much as I used to. As a result, I've been taking public transit with much greater frequency since April 1. In fact, since April, I've only driven to the East Bay twice.

In general, the incidents that I witness on Muni are either humorous or inane. That is until today. I needed to get home in the middle of the day so the plumber could come make some emergency repairs (entry about that sage to come in a few days) so I was on the 38 Limited headed from Downtown to the beach. While driving through the Tenderloin, a guy boarded the bus carrying a boom box (let's call him "boom box man"). This is not terribly infrequent, although it is almost always a nuisance when such people sit in the back blasting their music for the entire bus to hear. This gentleman was no exception.

For the next 2 or 3 miles, perhaps, passengers on the bus were treated to a series of musical selections that apparently met with boom box man's approval. As we were stopped at a red light on Geary at 3rd Avenue, boom box man stood up and walked to the door - he was going to get off at the 6th Avenue stop. Now, as he moved up from the last row of the bus to the rear door, the music became louder for people farther ahead. This did not go unnoticed by a guy sitting three rows in front of me - let's call this one "angry man" - who turned around and said to boom box man, "thanks for sharing that with us, a**ho*e!"

Boom box man, now standing behind me and just to the right, wasted no time in responding angrily, "you're welcome, fu**er!" Tempers were high between both of them and a yelling match ensued, with me sitting directly in between the two of them. I was just praying that things wouldn't escalate until boom box man said, "I'm getting off at the next stop if you want to get off and settle this."

Oh no. Little did I know, though, that getting off to settle it would have been better than what happened next. All of a sudden, boom box man charged forward and leaped on angry man and the fists started flying. Angry man shot up out of his seat and it was a true battle royale. Angry man and boom box man were throwing each other into poles and on top of other passengers; it was a disaster in the making. Thankfully the bus driver saw and heard what was happening and he immediately opened all of the doors on the bus. I tell you, I have never seen a bus empty as quickly as this one did. Within 5 seconds, every person, including me, was off that bus except those immediately involved in the tussle.

I have to admit that I was a little frightened by the whole situation. I mean, I barely avoided direct involvement just by virtue of the fact that I was in the seat I was. One or two seats farther forward and I would have been in the thick of it.

Once I had taken about 5 to 10 seconds to compose myself, I decided that this type of behavior could not go unchecked, so I called 911 from my cell phone and reported the incident to the police. While I was on the phone with the dispatcher, boom box man got off the bus and started walking around a little. After 10 to 15 seconds, he walked directly over to me, got right up in my face and said, "you like calling the police, huh? Do you want me to take your phone? Huh?" I said nothing to him and he turned and walked away. I was, naturally, a little shaken by that encounter, but I continued my report to the dispatcher, adding that I had just been threatened by boom box man.

Just moments later, the police arrived, but they arrived at the wrong bus! They went to a bus across the street. I was attempting to wave them over, but they boarded the bus across the street before realizing that the issue was not there. By the time they got over to where I was, boom box man was gone and the officer that intended to pursue him drove the complete opposite direction from that which I had told the dispatcher he was walking. Seeing that my presence there was no longer useful, I decided to get on the next bus and continue home. Just before the bus arrived, though, I saw another guy get off the bus. I'm not 100% sure if it was angry man or not, but he had clearly been involved in the fight. He appeared to be bleeding quite a lot from the head (over his left eye, in particular, I think) and the moment he stepped off the bus he collapsed in the street. I'm not sure what happened to him after that - he had an officer with him and my bus pulled up. As I was boarding the new bus, I told the driver of the incident bus that boom box man had walked north on 3rd Avenue in case he wanted to relay that to the police.

I'll admit - I really hope that I don't have to witness another Muni event like this!

Posted by Lance at 6:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

For some reason I was feeling in a very poetic mood today, and I stumbled upon what I personally think is a pretty amazing - if completely bizarre - poem. It was written by James Joyce and comprises the opening of Chapter 11 of Ulysses.

I think that this poem work particularly well if you read it aloud while playing some soothing music. After all, this poem is meant to setup a series of themes in a musical style. As my friend Cliff says of this poem, "Joyce applies the intricate techniques of musical composition to literature."

from Ulysses by Jame Joyce

Bronze by gold heard the hoofirons, steelyringing.

Imperthnthn thnthnthn.

Chips, picking chips off rocky thumbnail, chips.

Horrid! And gold flushed more.

A husky fifenote blew.

Blew. Blue bloom is on the.

Gold pinnacled hair.

A jumping rose on satiny breast of satin, rose of Castile.

Trilling, trilling: Idolores.

Peep! Who's in the... peepofgold?

Tink cried to bronze in pity.

And a call, pure, long and throbbing. Longindying call.

Decoy. Soft word. But look! The bright stars fade. Notes chirruping answer. O rose! Castile. The morn is breaking.

Jingle jingle jaunted jingling.

Coin rang. Clock clacked.

Avowal. Sonnez. I could. Rebound of garter. Not leave thee. Smack. La cloche! Thigh smack. Avowal. Warm. Sweetheart, goodbye!

Jingle. Bloo.

Boomed crashing chords. When love absorbs. War! War! The tympanum.

A sail! A veil awave upon the waves.

Lost. Throstle fluted. All is lost now.

Horn. Hawhorn.

When first he saw. Alas!

Full tup. Full throb.

Warbling. Ah, lure! Alluring.

Martha! Come!

Clapclop. Clipclap. Clappyclap.

Goodgod henev erheard inall.

Deaf bald Pat brought pad knife took up.

A moonlight nightcall: far: far.

I feel so sad. P.S. So lonely blooming.

Listen!

The spiked and winding cold seahorn. Have you the? Each and for other plash and silent roar.

Pearls: when she. Liszt's rhapsodies. Hissss.

You don't?

Did not: no, no: believe: Lidlyd. With a cock with a carra.

Black.

Deepsounding. Do, Ben, do.

Wait while you wait. Hee hee. Wait while you hee.

But wait!

Low in dark middle earth. Embedded ore.

Naminedamine. Preacher is he.

All gone. All fallen.

Tiny, her tremulous fernfoils of maidenhair.

Amen! He gnashed in fury.

Fro. To, fro. A baton cool protruding.

Bronzelydia by Minagold.

By bronze, by gold, in oceangreen of shadow. Bloom. Old Bloom.

One rapped, one tapped, with a carra, with a cock.

Pray for him! Pray, good people!

His gouty fingers nakkering.

Big Benaben. Big Benben.

Last rose Castile of summer left bloom I feel so sad alone.

Pwee! Little wind piped wee.

True men. Lid Ker Cow De and Doll. Ay, ay. Like you men. Will lift your tschink with tschunk.

Fff! Oo!

Where bronze from anear? Where gold from afar? Where hoofs?

Rrrpr. Kraa. Kraandl.

Then, not till then. My eppripfftaph. Be pfrwritt.

Done.

Begin!

Posted by Lance at 2:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)