LancesWorld.com Journal

Why do people lie? I'm no developmental psychologist, but I suspect that children get into the habit of lying in order to avoid getting into trouble. At some point, Jimmy realizes that he has a choice of what to say when his parents or teachers ask him, "Jimmy, did you break this window?" It probably doesn't take long for Susie to realize that she gets grounded if she admits to having fingerpainted on the walls of the school. Children also lie to get things they want. For example, little Bobby might want a cookie. When his dad tells him to ask his mother, Bobby probably thinks himself very clever when he says that he already has and that "mom said it was OK."

It is this second type of lying, I think, that extends into adulthood moreso than lying to stay out of trouble. Not to say that lying to stay out of trouble doesn't exist - it certainly does - but I think it is less common in adulthood that lying to get what you want. Both of these types of lying share something in common - they are both about me telling someone else something that isn't true. I know the truth, but I choose to pass on bad information for my own gain.

But with adulthood comes the advent of a new type of lie - lying to oneself. Generally, when we lie, we hope that somehow we won't get caught. When we lie to ourselves, though, the odds are probably pretty high that we're going to get caught. What is the benefit of this type of lie? Let's assume I lie to friend Dan about not having any money because I want him to pay for my lunch. I choose to lie, apparently, because I suspect that what I want (Dan to pay for my lunch) is not what Dan wants. But this doesn't extend well to lies to the self. I lie to myself because I don't want the thing that I want? That questions makes no sense, and for good reason - because it makes no sense.

Lying to yourself is perhaps the worst possible lie. Things can only end badly in this situation because either I "find myself out" and my lying self ends up getting the stiff, or I don't "discover the lie" and my lied-to self gets shafted. Either way, I'm screwed. So why lie to myself? Why?